In case you needed further proof that the human race is
doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.
|
 |
On a Sears hairdryer...
"Do not use while sleeping."
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
|
|
On a bag of Fritos...
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(the shoplifter special?)
|
|
On a bar of Dial soap...
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
|
|
On some Swanson frozen dinners...
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
|
|
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom)...
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
|
|
On packaging for a Rowenta iron...
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
|
|
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding...
"Product will be hot after heating."
(..and you thought????...)
|
|
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine...
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those
5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
|
|
On Nytol Sleep Aid...
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???....)
|
|
On most brands of Christmas lights...
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
|
|
On Sainsbury's peanuts...
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
|
|
 
On an American Airlines packet of nuts...
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
|
|
On a Japanese food processor...
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
|
|
On a child's Superman costume...
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
|
|
On a Swedish Chainsaw...
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
|
