NOTE:
DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES
WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM
.
Class
1 How
to Fill Up the Ice
Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets
4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class
2 The
Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table
Discussion. Meets
2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class
3 Is
It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding
The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets
4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class
4 Fundamental
Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory
Graphics. Meets
Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class
5 Dinner
Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on
Video. Meets
4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class
6 Loss
Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support
and Support Groups. Meets
4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class
7 Learning
How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning
The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum
. Monday
at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class
8 Health
Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and
Audio Tapes. Three
nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class
9 Real
Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays
at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Class
10 Is
It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving
Simulations. 4
weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class
11 Learning
to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and
role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00
PM, location to be determined
Class
12 How
to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and
Breathing Techniques. Meets
4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class
13 How
to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other
Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral
Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday,
Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class
14 The
Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live
Demonstration. Tuesdays
at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon
completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to
the survivors.